Do you actually know how to be happy?

Why Wasn’t She Happy?

A few years back, I was coaching a client who simply didn’t know how to be happy. On paper, her life seemed almost perfect. She was making decent money, working her way out of debt, beautiful, had a loving boyfriend and a load of people who admired her for the work in her community. But yet, she wasn’t happy. 

So what was going on here? The truth, a lot was! But that’s okay, as humans, we are meant to be complicated and helping people like this is why I created Dream Nation. 

The Language of Happiness

One of my favourite quotes is: “You can never achieve something you can’t articulate” and in the case of my client, she struggled to find happiness because she wasn’t able to use accurate language to explain it. If we don’t have the words to define something, we can’t truly understand it. This is why expanding our vocabulary is so important on our journeys to increased emotional intelligence (E.Q). To master our emotions, we first need to be able to clearly talk about them. 

Psychologist and researcher Barbara Fredrickson created a list of defined positive emotions which we can use help us better understand happiness. We’ll use this as a starting point in growing our E.Q. vocab. 

Joy
Joy is the feeling of when everything in your life feels like it is together. This is often expressed outwardly, but it can also take the form of a more silent joy which you feel on the inside.

Gratitude
Gratitude is the feeling when you are thankful for what you have in your life. This emotion is often associated with the feeling that you are blessed more than you deserve. You can also experience gratitude when you have avoided something terrible, which could have easily happened. 

Serenity
Serenity is the feeling of being safe, calm, peaceful and untroubled. We often experience it in surroundings (physical, mental or emotional) which are familiar to us. 

Interest
Interest is the feeling we experience when our curiosity is being fed, and we are learning about something we find enjoyable. 

Hope
Hope is the feeling which stems from the belief that things are going to be better. For something to get better, it means that we aren’t happy with at least some parts of our lives. Hope is a powerful emotion to carry us through difficult times.

Pride
Pride is the feeling you get when you are happy about something you have done, created or achieved.

Amusement
Amusement is the positive feeling when something pleasant but surprising happens in our lives. We usually only really feel amusement when we feel safe, and it is often linked with a social component.

Inspiration
Inspiration is the feeling you get when we are moved by the work and devotion of another person. Inspiration is our emotion, responding positively to the best of human actions.

Awe
Awe is the feeling of being small but in a good way. When we can recognise the scale of something that others have achieved.

Love
Love encapsulates all other positive emotions and enhances them because it is an experience we get to share with someone we deeply care about.

So did she ever find happiness?

Through coaching and self-reflection, she was able to see her life more clearly. First, she developed more gratitude for everything she had, which led her to feel more serene. She invested more time into pursuing her interest by studying in her industry and was able to take pride in her accomplishments. She started to seek experiences and people which would leave in awe and inspiration. We were able to help her stop sabotaging her relationship through her developing hope where she had doubts. From what I’ve heard her and her partner’s love has only multiplied. During our last catch up, it truly seemed as if she had found joy for her and pray that it only continues to grow. 

My question for you, however, is where are you on your journey? How are you going to use what you’ve learnt today to make your life better and continue on your path to becoming a better Practical Dreamer? Lastly, how can we help you get there?

Ps. 
The Dream Nation team is currently developing a free email coaching programme to help you cultivate more happiness in your life. If you’d like to join it or even better help us during our research, let me know below.